A pretty teenage girl, looking extremely normal amidst the tattooed, rainbow haired, pierced people in the bar, shows her obviously doctored license to a bartender. She downs her drink for courage, anxiously searching for someone as she compares everyone in the place to a photo on her phone, nearly dropping the latter, which is caught by a Pattinson lookalike who smiles at her. "You came," she says over the loud music. "I told you I would," he says, "shall we sit?" "I can't tell you that," she s... read more A pretty teenage girl, looking extremely normal amidst the tattooed, rainbow haired, pierced people in the bar, shows her obviously doctored license to a bartender. She downs her drink for courage, anxiously searching for someone as she compares everyone in the place to a photo on her phone, nearly dropping the latter, which is caught by a Pattinson lookalike who smiles at her. "You came," she says over the loud music. "I told you I would," he says, "shall we sit?" "I can't tell you that," she says, "it's too embarrassing." "Come on," he coaxes, "nothing you could ever say would be. . .I mean, those poems you posted. . .they revealed who you really are--I KNOW you--Kristin." "Thanks," she says, smitten. She reaches into her purse for her poetry, but gets a paper cut. Her date sees the blood on her finger and watches her suck it, calling herself clumsy. "I've gotta go," he says, turning away. "Wait!" she protests.

We get a view of a very full moon, swiftly covered by ominous clouds.

The young man returns to Kristin's side at the bar. "Hi," she says, glad to see him. "I shouldn't be here," he says. "So why are you?" she asks. "I can't stop thinking about you," he answers. "Don't," she says. "We can't do this," he insists, "we can't be together." "There has to be a way," she counters. "No," he groans, "you think you know me, but you don't--I've done bad things--you should run--now!" "I can make my own decisions," she says, I'm 17!" They lean in for a kiss, but he turns away. "I have to show you something," he says. "OK," she agrees. He looks around to make sure no one is watching, peels back his lip and reveals a fang. She gasps in delight. "I knew it," she says. "Are you scared?" he asks. "No," she says, caught up in doom-thrill. "You should be," he warns. "I'm just scared I'm dreaming, and I'll wake up in Math class," she says, closing her eyes and feeling her throat, "is it gonna hurt?" "I could never hurt you," he promises, "come with me." "Where?" she asks. "Let me show you my world," he says. Walking down a dark, creepy alley, she comments, "Edgy. . .so, your place--is there going to be. . .velvet?" (LMAO!) "Yeah, sure," he says, voice a lot less romantic than before. "Ts this it?" she asks, looking up at a warehouse--"but, it smells like pee." (Reality sure bites!) A fat ugly vampire with wiry hair leaps in front of her. "NICE work, Robby!" he praises. "Robert?" asks Kristin, turning a frightened face to look at him. Robert opens his jacket to show off his bod--and his mouth to reveal his fangs. "This is what you wanted, isn't it?" he asks. Both vampires attack Kristin as she screams shrilly. read less

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On the phone with Cindy, Dean tells her he's only a night's drive away. After they wrap this case, he can make sure he isn't followed, take side streets. . . "Just get your ass home," she orders, "I can't wait to see you--this phone thing's getting old." "Yeah," agrees Dean, ducking his head almost shyly. "Call us when you're close," she says, "and be careful." "Of course," promises Dean. He's smiling when Sam comes over with some paperwork from the police station across the street. "What are y... read more On the phone with Cindy, Dean tells her he's only a night's drive away. After they wrap this case, he can make sure he isn't followed, take side streets. . . "Just get your ass home," she orders, "I can't wait to see you--this phone thing's getting old." "Yeah," agrees Dean, ducking his head almost shyly. "Call us when you're close," she says, "and be careful." "Of course," promises Dean. He's smiling when Sam comes over with some paperwork from the police station across the street. "What are you so stoked about?" asks Sam, handing over what he's holding. "Nothin', what have you got?" asks Dean. "Six girls, seven days," says Sam, "more disappearances than this city has seen in over a year, all about the same age--" "And cute," notes Dean. Sam huffs. "Hey, ice cream comes in all sorts of flavors," says Dean. "Half a dozen girls, late teens, a shower away from greatness," says Sam, "sounds like a profile." And another call just came in today.

The brothers head over to speak with Kristin's father, who tells them his daughter is a good kid. "You try to be a good parent, girls are hard." "We'd just like to find your daughter," says Sam. He directs them to the last door on the left. "What do you think he was talkin' about?" asks Dean as they head upstairs. "Drugs?" suggests Sam. Upstairs, Kristin's room is plastered with vampire posters and related paraphernalia. "This is so much worse," says Dean, "these aren't vampires, these are douchebags." (Was that Pattinson he was referring to?) Sam finds Kristin's laptop buried in her bed. "Let's see what we can see. A brooding vampire opens up on-screen. "That's just uncomfortable," comments Sam. "What's he so bummed out about?" asks Dean. (This is all SO funny!) While Sam tries Dracula as a password, Dean picks up a novel Kristin is reading, MY SUMMER BLOOD, and says, "Look at this, he's watching her sleep, how is that not rapey?" "I gotta concentrate here." But Dean reads aloud, "He could hear the blood rushing inside her, almost taste it. He tried desperately to control himself, but Bromarrow knew their love was impossible'--Bromarrow, really?" "Dean, shut up," orders Sam, still trying to figure out the password. "This is a national bestseller," says Dean disbelievingly, "how is that possible?" He tosses the book on the bed. He suggests Sam try Lautner, and Sam does, reminding Dean he's a werewolf. "How do you even know who that is?" asks Sam. "Are you kidding me, that kid's everywhere, it's a freakin' nightmare," says Dean. "How many t's are there in Pattinson?" asks Sam, and that turns out to be the right password. Kristin's box is full--from a guy claiming to be a vampire. Real or fake? Human mouth-breather. "Talk about easy prey," says Sam, "these chicks are actually throwing themselves at you, all you gotta do is, I don't know, write bad poetry. This guy wanted to meet her at a place called the Black Rose." Gimmee a break," says Dean. "Just reporting the news," says Sam. "Probably just your standard-issue perv," says Dean. Sam closes the laptop and looks at him.

A van carrying blood donations is hijacked. The blood is taken, the driver murdered and left on the ground, bleeding out. PLEASE GIVE BLOOD, begs writing on the side of the van. read less

On the phone Samuel tells Sam the pattern is established; they're definitely dealing with vampires: kids go missing and a blood bank van gets jumped. This is the fourth town, clincher is, driver here was found with his throat ripped out. Sam gets the kids-- "Walkin', talkin' juice bars, but why bother with the bloodmobile; it doesn't add up?" "Find the nest, figure it out," says Samuel.

Bar - "You wanted emo chicks, I think we found ground zero," says Dean. A waitress serves them b... read more On the phone Samuel tells Sam the pattern is established; they're definitely dealing with vampires: kids go missing and a blood bank van gets jumped. This is the fourth town, clincher is, driver here was found with his throat ripped out. Sam gets the kids-- "Walkin', talkin' juice bars, but why bother with the bloodmobile; it doesn't add up?" "Find the nest, figure it out," says Samuel.

Bar - "You wanted emo chicks, I think we found ground zero," says Dean. A waitress serves them beers, Dean thanks her. "Think she wears all that rubber at the beach?" he asks Sam, who is scanning the bar closely. "When was the last time we had a beer together, anyway?" "There," says Sam, pointing to a couple sitting across from them, not answering Dean's question. "He's hittin' on her hard enough," Dean agrees, "it's hard to tell." He nods toward another pair. "We got multiple choice." "Great, three of them, two of us," says Sam. When two guys go in for a kiss, Dean and Sam look chagrined and Dean says, "OK, make that two of them." When two couples are on the movie, Dean says, "You go with Efron, I've got Bieber."

In a creepy scene, the guy Sam follows is waiting for him, but Sam is ready with a sword and beheads him swiftly and with little mess.

The Bieber lookalike exits the bar with his date. "Are you sure, baby?" he asks. "Are you ready to join me in eternity?" "Oh my God, totally!" she exults, tipping her head back. He's just about to bite in when Dean grabs him and orders the girl to get out of here. Turns out the young man (Dean asks him if he's 12) is wearing fake fangs and only does this to get laid). "Does it work?" asks Dean. The kid nods. "I'll be damned," says Dean, "all right, oom-bop your way out of here. GO! GO!! Use a condom!" (Biggest laugh of the night for me.)

Walking away, Dean hears a man say, "You're pretty." Dean starts to move on, but the guy throws him like a garbage bag a long way, into other bags of garbage. Dazed, Dean struggles to his feet, finds a shovel and attacks the vampire, who rips away the weapon and begins punching Dean, over and over. Sam arrives on the scene and starts running toward Dean, but stops, watching, half-smiling as the vampire bites into his own wrist and force-feeds Dean his blood. Only after Dean has collapsed, unconscious, does Sam yell "NO!" and race over. Sam takes a few ineffectual swipes at the vamp, who waves at him and runs off. Awakening, blood all over his face, Dean, his voice anguished, says, "SAMMY!" Sam, breathing heavily, gazes at his brother. (WTF???) read less

Hotel room - Newly minted vampire Dean is miserable; every sound--police sirens, the couple having sex next door, even the clock switching from one number to another--is amplified, all light is killing him. Sam isn't patient, although he does close all the blinds and turn off all the lights. Of all the times he's died, Dean never thought he'd go out this way. Sam assures him he's not going out at all. "Samuel is going to kill me when he gets here," says Dean, "I'm going to ask him to because YOU... read more Hotel room - Newly minted vampire Dean is miserable; every sound--police sirens, the couple having sex next door, even the clock switching from one number to another--is amplified, all light is killing him. Sam isn't patient, although he does close all the blinds and turn off all the lights. Of all the times he's died, Dean never thought he'd go out this way. Sam assures him he's not going out at all. "Samuel is going to kill me when he gets here," says Dean, "I'm going to ask him to because YOU won't do it." "Just hold on a second," begs Sam, "we can figure this out!" "How?" demands Dean--"why aren't you freaked out?" Sam insists he is. "I can hear your heart beatin'," says Dean, "It's pretty darn steady." "I'm trying to remain calm," insists Sam, "Samuel will know what to do! How does it feel?" "Now? Now you want to talk about my feelings?" asks Dean, irritated. "I mean, physically," says Sam. "How do you think it feels?" asks Dean--"not good." He heads into the bathroom, informing Sam, "Newsflash, Mr. Wizard, vampires pee!" In the bathroom, Dean tosses cold water on his face and peels back his upper lip to look at his brand-new fang. He turns on the cold water faucet again. Deciding Dean's been in there too long, Sam enters the bathroom. His brother has escaped through the window and is gone.

. . .and stands over Lisa's bed, watching her sleep. Lisa awakens and sits up in bed with a start. She turns on the light, blinding poor Dean, who hears her heartbeat loudly. "I wasn't expecting you for a couple of days," she says, wiping sleep from her eye. "Are you OK? What's going on?" she asks anxiously, knowing something is wrong. "It doesn't matter," he says, "but I need you to know, you and Ben, just. . .thanks. OK? For everything." Whispers fill his head, his hunger growing. Lisa sits beside him. "You're scaring me," she says. He stands and moves away from her. "Oh, God, I'm Pattining," he says. "What?" she asks. "I've gotta go," he insists. "No, you can't just show up here like this and. . ." she says, "just stop and explain to me what's going on out there." "Lisa, I can't bring this crap home to you," he says, breathing hard. "You're talking about your work," she says. "I'm talking about my life," he says, "it's ugly, and it's violent, and I'm gonna die, soon." She moves closer. "Just tell me what the hell is going on!" she demands. Hearing her heart resounding in his head, he shoves her against the wall. Whether he was going to kiss or bite, we'll never know, because he turns away. His fangs descend, audibly. "Dean?" says Lisa. "I gotta go," he insists, and leaves the bedroom. Ben exits his room into the hall. "Dean?" he says. "Ben, just stay there," orders Dean. "I thought I heard you," says Ben, stopping when Dean violently pushes him away. "I SAID STAY BACK!" shouts Dean. Lisa comes out, grabs Ben and pulls him into her room. Dean runs from the house.

Samuel is annoyed with Sam for allowing Dean to escape. "Can't keep track of your brother now? He's not himself! He's a monster and he's hungry. You're prepared to do the right thing now." "I told you he'd kill me when he showed up," says Dean, abruptly appearing in the room. Sam and Samuel pull out their swords. "Did you feed?" Samuel asks. "I went to say goodbye to Lisa," says Dean miserably, "which for the record is a lousy idea." "Dean, answer the question?" demands Samuel, more insistently. Dean, sexy as hell, answers, "You can relax, I didn't drink anyone." Sam releases a relieved breath. "Thank God," says Samuel. "But I came close," admits Dean, taking off his jacket, "all right--do it." "OK, if you insist," says Samuel, "or you can just turn your back." "What?" say Sam and Dean, but NOT in unison. "I didn't drive all this way to kill ya, Dean, I'm here to save ya." Samuel shows Dean his grandfather's journal, an old "soup" recipe for curing vampirism. It's a bad trip, but it works--as long as Dean doesn't drink even one drop of human blood. "I got it," says Dean sullenly. "Do ya?" asks Samuel-- "because you WILL feed--it's a matter of time." "What else do we gotta get?" asks Dean. "Trickiest thing on the list," says Samuel, "blood of the fang that turned ya." "That guy was huge," says Sam. "Nothin' in the recipe says it's gotta be easy," says Samuel, "you gonna walk right into the nest?" "I'm one of 'em, aren't it?" asks Dean--"so all I gotta do is get in there, get the guy alone and shoot him with so much dead man's blood he'll think he's rushin' a fraternity." Samuel wants to go with, but Dean says no--"You reek. You're like a walkin' hamburger. I gotta do this alone." Sam says they haven't been able to find them yet, but Dean already knows--"I can smell 'em, they're two miles east of town. You guys get the other crap and meet me there." Samuel gives Dean a hypo filled with dead man's blood--"Enough to drop a linebacker and then some. Good luck, son." Dean exits. "What the hell is wrong with you, Sam?" demands Samuel. Sam, packing weapons, wants to know what Grandpa is talking about. "You knew about the cure," says Samuel. "What? No I didn't," insists Sam. (THIS IS NOT THE SAME SAM AS THE SAM SAMUEL TOLD ABOUT THE CURE!) "We talked about it months ago," Samuel reminds him. "Not me, it must've been Christian or somethin'," says Sam. "That's strange," says Samuel, "because if you HAD known, it'd almost be like you LET him get turned--get a man on the inside, help us find that alpha vampire they're lookin' for." (THEY, not WE.) "You serious?" says Sam--"you think I'd do something like that, risk my own brother?--what's wrong with YOU?" (I think you DID!!!!!) They survey each other for a few long moments. "Look," says Sam, "I'm just relieved we can fix him." Sam leaves. Samuel looks as if he doesn't know what to think, but he's worried.

Dean enters the vampires' lair and meets up with Robert, the Pattinson lookalike who brought Kristin into the fold. He recognizes Dean: "The guy Boris turned outside the bar. He said to look out for you. Glad you made it, man." They bump fists. Dean follows him to a refrigerator where the confiscated blood from the van is stored. "You must be starving," says Robert, selecting a bag for Dean, "here you go." "I'm OK," Dean, clearly hungry, assures him, "I killed so many people on the way over here." "Yeah, about that," says Robert confidentially, "company line is, we don't just kill people--anymore--but you've gotta tell me what that's like." "Yeah, first chance I get, I'll show you myself," promises Dean. "Sweet," says Robert, tearing into the bag of blood himself. Dean looks longingly at that, and the fridge filled with more, and follows Robert. "Don't worry about them," says Robert in reference to guys milling around the bottom of the stairs, "the recruiters get to bang all the chicks. That's you now, bro." "Recruiters?" questions Dean. "Yeah," says Robert, "Big Man will explain." "Be will you in a minute," says Boris, dictating to Kristin, who is on a computer, "'Your skin is the black velvet of the night.' Nice, that stupid bitch'll eat that up, she'll be dying to meet." Boris presses his lips against her hair and she cringes. "Go get yourself some blood, sweetheart, then march that little ass right back here, okay?" Dean notes pretty teenage girls locked in cells, sucking blood from bags of blood hanging above their heads. Kristin gives Dean a long look as she walks past him. "Thank goodness," says Boris, I thought the hunter chopped your pretty head." "Naw, I got away," says Dean, "sorry, what's a hunter?" "You'll see if he finds us," chuckles Boris, "you'll see him inside-out. You eaten?" "Yeah," says Dean. "Good, you'll need your strength," says Boris. Learning that Robert didn't fill him in, Boris asks, "How old do I look?" "33?" guesses Dean. "You're off--by about six centuries," says Boris, "and these are the best days in the last 600 years to be a vampire. Dracula, Ann Rice? Please. These little brats are so horny, they've reinvented us as Prince Charming with a Volvo. They want a promise ring with fangs, so I give it to them. You go out and get them and you bring them home to me." "So what's with the cages?" asks Dean. "That's just till they're compliant," says Boris, "eventually these girls will go out and fetch me boys like you--and around and around we go." "I gotta say, I'm impressed," says Dean, "this whole system, it's all you?" Laughing, Boris says, "Nononononono, I just implement, make sure that you all fall in line, it's HIS--our father's." He points upward to a beautiful stained glass ceiling above them. "Your father's," says Dean. "Aren't you a curious one," says Boris, chuckling. "You don't know the half of it," grins Dean. "In due time," says Boris, looking at Dean lustily, moving in as if for a kiss, "you want the private tour, doncha?" "I thought you'd never ask," says Dean. Boris gestures with his forefinger: come this way. With Boris' back turned, Dean withdraws and uncaps the syringe of dead man's blood. Unfortunately, one drop falls and hits the floor, alerting Boris, who grabs Dean. "You playing games with me, boy?" he demands, forcing Dean to drop the syringe. From the alpha, above, a whispered message comes, causing all the vampires to fall unconscious. Dean watches Boris drop, then the vamps in the cells. He is last to fall. We see a series of chilling images: cemeteries, crosses, a fertilized egg dividing into two, blood passing through a body, a child feeding blood to a doll, desks in a classroom, Aurora and Elgin on a map, a black man touching a bloody finger to the face of a young girl; he opens a door and twin vampire girls exit into the world.

Dean and the other vampires awaken. Boris is freeing all the vamps from their cells. As if he, too, received a message from the stained glass above them, Dean pulls out his sword and begins a killing rampage. As promised, he shows Robert how he kills in a wonderful scene where he lops off his head and we watch as it tilts to one side and falls over, the headless body sliding to the ground. Next, three of the freed girls come at him, but he swiftly dispatches him with his sword, too, their blood splashing the walls.


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Sam and Samuel pull up in front of the warehouse. "This must be the place," says Samuel. "Shhhh," says Sam. There's a loud thump, and an upside-down vampire appears right in front of the driver side window, smashing it.

Dean continues to fight his way out of the warehouse, cutting a swath of vampires as he goes.

Sam beheads the vamp on top of the van. "So much for undercover," opines Samuel. "Let's go," says Sam, and they head inside.

Dean leaps down over... read more Sam and Samuel pull up in front of the warehouse. "This must be the place," says Samuel. "Shhhh," says Sam. There's a loud thump, and an upside-down vampire appears right in front of the driver side window, smashing it.

Dean continues to fight his way out of the warehouse, cutting a swath of vampires as he goes.

Sam beheads the vamp on top of the van. "So much for undercover," opines Samuel. "Let's go," says Sam, and they head inside.

Dean leaps down over the railing to the fist floor (damned impressive, too, this whole scene has been turning me on)! "You stop at nothin', you know that?" says Boris--"this is much bigger than you and me." Dean stands with his sword, ready. Boris beckons him.

This scene, scored with spine-tingling music and dark, perfect lighting, deserves kudos all by itself.

Sam and Samuel enter a room filled with dead vamps. "Looks like your brother has some Campbell in him after all," mutters Grandpa. They stand on the top floor, over the clock, looking down at Dean. "You OK?" asks Sam. "Yeah, I'm good," answers Dean in a gruff voice. He's holding the bloody sword in bloody hands. Propped under his foot is Boris' bloody head, several feet from the body, with a thick blood trail across the carpet from its source. They quickly head downstairs to Dean.

Samuel adds Boris' blood to the curative Campbell "soup." "If this works, it's not gonna be a kiddie ride, ya know that," warns Samuel. "That's great, light 'er up," says Dean. "So what'd you see in there?" asks Sam anxiously. "What?" asks Dean, not comprehending. "In the nest," persists Sam. "I can't hear you, your blood is so freakin' loud," complains Dean, "just back off!" Samuel pours the medicine. "Now give me the damn cure!" orders Dean, and picks up the coffee cup. He recoils at the smell, gasping, but says, "L'Chaim" with a grimace and downs it all. Samuel watches him sharply. Dean spits. "I don't think it w--" begins Dean, then turns away and begins to vomit what looks like every single drop of fluid in his body into a garbage pail. "Is it working?" asks Sam. "Either that or he's dying," says Samuel. Dean, kneeling, tilts his head back. His eyes are red; his fangs are fully exposed. Scenes of his experiences as a vampire flash through his memory, including what happened with Lisa--and that Sam watched Boris turn him. Dean awakens to realize the sound of a siren is no longer unbearable. Sam helps him sit up, smiling in joy and relief, and slaps Dean on the chest in victory. Dean doesn't return the smile.

Dean exits the bathroom to find Sam and Samuel packing up. "So what did you see?" asks Sam. (Like a dog with a bone, huh?) "What?" asks Dean. "In the nest, what did you see?" asks Sam. "I'm still trying to work through it," says Dean, "but I'm pretty sure they're not workin' out anything on their own, they're gettin' their orders from top, where to go next and everything." "Top is?" asks Samuel. "Their alpha," says Dean, "at least that's what I think it is; they've got some sort of psychic thing going, he sends them messages." "Sayin' what?" asks Sam. "Honestly?--recruitment drive," says Dean, "their alpha's building an army." "That's comforting," says Samuel. "That's not the worst," says Dean, "we don't scare them anymore." Sam, Dean and Samuel exchange looks on THAT bad bit of news, and they leave. Outside by the Impala, Dean tries Lisa and gets her voice mail. All he gets out is "Hey, Lis." He shuts the trunk and Sam is there, asking how it went with Lisa. "It didn't," says Dean. "I'm sorry," says Sam (but I didn't believe him, did you)? "Yeah," sighs Dean, "at least you got my back, no matter what happens, I can always count on you, right, Sammy?" "Yeah, of course, Dean," replies Sam, but Dean's crooked smile and eyes belie his words.
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Credits