Head bowed, shoulders slumped, Castiel sits, and everything he says, we see, illustrated either from a cheesy old movie, or a storm-tossed sea. "I have been here for a very long time," he says."I remember many things. I remember being at a shoreline, watching a little gray fish heave itself up on the beach, and an older brother saying, 'Don't step on that fish, Castiel, big plans for that fish. I remember the Tower of Babel, all 37 feet of it, which I suppose is impressive at the time, and when ... read more Head bowed, shoulders slumped, Castiel sits, and everything he says, we see, illustrated either from a cheesy old movie, or a storm-tossed sea. "I have been here for a very long time," he says."I remember many things. I remember being at a shoreline, watching a little gray fish heave itself up on the beach, and an older brother saying, 'Don't step on that fish, Castiel, big plans for that fish. I remember the Tower of Babel, all 37 feet of it, which I suppose is impressive at the time, and when it fell, they howled 'Divine wrath!', but come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high. (LOL!) I remember Cain and Abel, David and Goliath, Sodom and Gomorrah." We see Cas' own metamorphosis from man to angel. "And of course I remember the most remarkable event--remarkable because it never came to pass"-- scenes of Sam, Dean, Bobby, events leading up to the apocalypse and of course, Lucifer--"it was avoided by two boys and a fallen angel. The grand story--and we ripped up the ending." (Lucifer-possessed Sam, Dean, Michael-possessed Adam.) "And the rules, and destiny, leaving nothing but freedom and choice." (Sam, Dean, Adam, the rings, and Sam tossing himself into the cage, Adam-Michael, grabbing on tight.) "Which is all well and good, except, what if I've made the wrong choice, how am I supposed to know. . .I'm getting ahead of myself. . .let me tell you my story. Let me tell you everything." Cas seems to be speaking to us directly, his face pleading, but we know he is speaking to God, his father.

Ednote: We know right away that Castiel is in agony and what he's going to say very difficult. This is a confession, and no amount of Hail Marys is going to get him out of this one.) It's also a Ben Edlund script directed by Edlund himself, and his scattered black humorous gems are everywhere. read less

Credits

Cas pops into the Impala beside Dean, startling him. Dean bangs on the steering wheel in frustration. "Are you all right?" Cas asks. "Yeah, I'm fine, how're you?" asks Dean. Cas just wanted to check in. "Any word on Satan Jr. bein' alive?" asks Dean. Cas assures him he's looking, he just doesn't understand how Crowley could have tricked him. "Tricky SOB, that's how," says Dean, "doesn't matter, but if he is up and kickin', then what matters is finding him, ripping his head off and shoving it up ... read more Cas pops into the Impala beside Dean, startling him. Dean bangs on the steering wheel in frustration. "Are you all right?" Cas asks. "Yeah, I'm fine, how're you?" asks Dean. Cas just wanted to check in. "Any word on Satan Jr. bein' alive?" asks Dean. Cas assures him he's looking, he just doesn't understand how Crowley could have tricked him. "Tricky SOB, that's how," says Dean, "doesn't matter, but if he is up and kickin', then what matters is finding him, ripping his head off and shoving it up his ass." "You found anything?" the angel asks casually. "Nothin' yet," says Dean. "Where's Sam?" asks Cas. "Keepin' busy tracking a Djinn in Omaha as we speak," says Dean, "I'm headed there right now to meet up with him." "I'd come if I could," says Cas. Dean understands how busy Cas is--"No worries--but Cas, you'll call, right?--if you get into real trouble?" Cas nods and flies off. Dean nods and lets out a breath of air, exhausted from lying.

Cas enters a room where "Me and Mrs. Jones" plays. Crowley is butchering Eve and her creatures. He finds one being who's dead, but still keeps laying eggs (and he picks up a handful, which is very gross). He pokes Eve in the brain, causing one of her children to jitter uncontrollably. "Chocula here feels every tickle," says Crowley. "What is that good for?" asks Cas. "Apart from the erotic value, beyond me," answers Crowley. "You said Eve could open the door to Purgatory," says Cas angrily. "Correct," says Crowley, "and I'm confident that she could have--IF SHE WAS STILL ALIVE!! Our single best chance to get under the rainbow and the Winchesters killed her!" "It was unavoidable," insists Cas. "YOU screwed up, Cas, you let the hounds mangle the pheasant, and now I'm up to my elbows in it!" "What is your point?" demands Cas. "The point is, you're distracted," says Crowley, "and that makes me nervous." "I am holding up my end!" insists Cas. "Ah yes, but is that all you're holding?" asks Crowley slyly, almost whispering in his ear, "the stench of that Impala is all over your overcoat, angel--I thought we'd agreed--no more nights out with the boys." (and more sexual innuendo!) "I spoke with Dean," says Cas, "I needed to know what they know!" "About what?--about me, maybe?" asks Crowley-- "because I happen to have it on good authority that your two little pets are currently trying to hunt me down!! Forgive me, but I think we might have a little conflict of interest here." And he stabs Eve's brain again, sending the other poor soul into convulsions.

Narration: "Crowley had a point, of course, my interest was conflicted; I still considered myself the Winchesters' guardian. After all, they taught me how to stand up (Cas throws the explosive bottle at Michael/Adam, calling him assbutt), what to stand for, and what generally happens to you when you do" (Samifer snaps his fingers, rendering Cas into sludge. In cool slow-mo, we see Cas' gore moving around, twirling and dancing. Then, one large, perfect lump appears.) "I was done. I was over. And then the most extraordinary thing happened." (The bubble divides.) "I was put back. We had won! We stopped Armageddon." Cas repairs Dean, brings Bobby back to life. "But at a terrible cost--and so I knew what I had to do next." (We see Sam standing near Dean's house, a blank expression on his face.) "Once again, I went to harrow hell to free Sam from Lucifer's cage. It was nearly impossible, but I was so full of confidence, of mission, I see now, that was arrogance, hubris, because I hadn't truly raised Sam, not all of him," (Sam punches the deputy from Rhode Island, watches Dean be turned into a vamp, nearly kills Bobby) "sometimes we're lucky enough to be given a warning. This should have been mine."

Crowley rips a piece off the Eve's body, causing the other to groan in agony. "Please, I'm begging you, Castiel, kill the Winchesters," Crowley pleads. "No," says Cas. "Fine, then I'll do it myself," the demon says. "If you do, I'll just bring them back again," vows Cas. (Nice friend to have, huh?) "No you won't," says Crowley, "not where I'll put 'em, trust me." "I said, no," Cas repeats quietly, "don't worry about them." "Don't WORRY?--what, like Lucifer didn't worry? or Michael? or Lilith? Or Alistair, or Azazel didn't worry? Am I the only think piece on the board who doesn't underestimate those denim-wrapped nightmares!" "Just find Purgatory," says Cas, "if you don't, we will both die, again and again, until the end of time." Cas turns to walk again, assuring, "The Winchesters won't get to you." "Let 'em get to me!" screams Crowley, "I'll tear they're friggin' hearts out!"

Bobby's living room, where, Sam at his side, he's torturing Red, a filthy, lower-than- snake-spit hell-spawn, for Crowley's whereabouts. He's praising Red for becoming a damn fine hunter. "I don't know whether to kill ya or kiss ya," says Bobby. "Oh, please, kill me," says Red. "That was you that dug out that nest of vamps in Swan Valley, wasn't it?" asks Bobby. "Nice work," says Sam. "And then you brought "em to Crowley, right?" asks Bobby. "The king is dead," insists Red. Bobby tosses holy water on the chained up man, causing him to cry out through gritted teeth. "Crowley's alive," says Bobby, "you prove it just by bein', you poor, dumb jackass. Crowley's alive, his nets are still out, except he's using you schmucks to hunt his monsters." "Up yers," retorts Red. Sam hands Bobby the DKK, and Red's eyes widen at the sight of it. Dean enters and indicates for Sam to join him aside. "Red, where's Crowley?" asks Bobby, no longer fooling around. The other man just looks at him, then down. "No? Nothin'?" says Bobby--"OK, then. Hang onto this for a bit." He thrusts the knife into Rob's leg, just above his knee. Red screams, loud and long. (Ednote: Never fails to make me admire how good Bobby is at torture. He starts with a little pain, like holy water, then goes on to the good stuff, the DKK that REALLY hurts! I will always want Bobby on MY team!)

"So what did you tell him?" Sam asks Dean. "Nothing," says the latter, "just relax. "What's the hubbub?" asks Bobby, joining them. "Saw Cas," says Dean, "he popped in on me about two hours back." "What'd you tell him?" asks Bobby. "Nothing," says Dean, "I told him we were on some crap monster hunt, "he doesn't know we're getting close to Crowley. You know, he's our friend, and we're lying to him through our teeth." "Dean," begins Sam. "So be burned the wrong bones," says Dean, "so Crowley tricked him." "He's an ANGEL," Bobby reminds him. "He's the Balki Bartokomous of heaven," says Dean, "he can make a mistake." "Nobody's sayin' nothin' yet," says Bobby. "You think that Cas is in with Crowley," accuses Dean--CROWLEY?" "I'm just sayin' I don't know," clarifies Bobby, "I hate myself for even thinkin' it, but I DON'T KNOW!" "Look, Dean, he's our friend, too," says Sam, "and I'd die for him, I would, but, I'm praying we're wrong here." "But if we ain't," says Bobby, "if there's a snowball of a snowball's chance here, that means we're dealin' with a superman who's gone darkside--which means, we've got to be cautious, we've got to be smart, and maybe stock up on some Kryptonite." Looking at Sam, Dean teases, "This makes you Lois Lane." (They're going there again!) "One problem at a time here," says Bobby, "we gotta find Crowley NOW, before that damn fool cracks open Purgatory."

In their midst, unseen by them, Cas spies on what they're saying. "So, they already suspected," the angel realizes.

While Dean wipes his face one-handed as he's wont to do when upset, Bobby and Sam go back to their prisoner. "Where's Crowley?" demands Bobby. "Up yers," repeats Red. Bobby twists the knife in the guy's leg, wringing a lot of pain-filled screeching from him. "And the worst part is, continues Cas, "Dean, trying so hard to be loyal, every instinct telling him otherwise."

Now in tears, Red insists he doesn't know where Crowley is. "You sure about that?" asks Bobby--"'cause we can twist all the way to next summer." Bobby twists the knife again. "I never even met him!" cries Red--"I don't deal with Crowley direct." "Who do you deal with?" asks Bobby. "The dispatcher," Red says, "a demon named Ellesworth. (Ednote: Sam and Dean collected creatures for Crowley, so they know they never got to deal with him directly. Sounds like a continuity error to me.)

"If there was a demon counterpart of Bobby Singer, Ellesworth would be it," says Cas. Indeed, a man who looks a damn lot like Bobby, from cap to facial hair, sits talking to a chalice of blood as Bobby would a telephone, "No, I don't care--I want you to get down to New Mexico and bag me that Wendigo! What? Because the boss says we're done with them." A real phone rings. His eyes turn from black to normal. "FBI, Thomas speaking," he says, "absolutely I sent them, thanks for calling to check--you have a nice day now, bye-bye." Two men drop off a creature. "Hey hey, not in here, you freakin' Yeti! Out back!"

"These demons," says Cas, "would lead the Winchesters to Crowley, and Crowley would tear their hearts out. Cas enters, presses his hands to the faces of the two demons, presses them to the floor and kills them. Ellesworth mutters "Oh God" and tries to exit his meat suit, but Cas presses the smoke right back inside, kills him, and wipes the residue on his trench coat. "I had no choice," says Cas, "I did it to protect the boys--or to protect myself. I don't know anymore."

(Ednote: Oh, sure Cas knows. He just can't quite admit to himself that he's become a very bad angel.) read less

Bobby, Sam and Dean go to check out where Cas just was and find it very clean. They split up, guns ready, to investigate further.

"Lying, sweeping away evidence," says Cas, "and my motives used to be so pure. After supposedly saving Sam, I returned to heaven. Of course, there isn't one heaven, each soul generates its own paradise. I favor the eternal Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who drowned in a bathtub in 1953." In a lush, park-like atmosphere, a kite flies overhead. Befor... read more Bobby, Sam and Dean go to check out where Cas just was and find it very clean. They split up, guns ready, to investigate further.

"Lying, sweeping away evidence," says Cas, "and my motives used to be so pure. After supposedly saving Sam, I returned to heaven. Of course, there isn't one heaven, each soul generates its own paradise. I favor the eternal Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who drowned in a bathtub in 1953." In a lush, park-like atmosphere, a kite flies overhead. Before Cas stands a group of angels, all in black suits with white shirts. "You're alive," says Rachel, the angel he killed a few episodes ago. "Yes," he says, smiling. "We saw Lucifer destroy you," she says. "Well I came back," he says happily. "But. . .Lucifer," she pushes, "Michael." "They're gone," he says. "It was God, wasn't it," she says. All the angels step forward. "No," says Cas, "it was the Winchesters, they brought down the apocalypse." "But you beat the archangels, Castiel," she points out, "God brought you back--he chose you, Cas, to lead us." "No, no one leads us anymore," insists Cas, "we're all free to make our own choices and to choose our own fates." She looks at her fellow angels. "What does God want?" she asks, perplexed. "God wants you to have freedom," says Cas. "What does he want us to do with it?" she asks. (Ednote: I knew Cas was in trouble here. BIGTIME! These angels were used to being led, given orders. Freedom was a completely foreign concept to them.)

"If I knew then what I know now," narrates Cas, "I might have said, 'It's simple--freedom is a length of rope, God wants you to hang yourself with it.' Those first few weeks back in heaven were surprisingly difficult. Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like teaching poetry to fish. And then there was Raphael." The latter angel, dressed impeccably, handsome and arrogant, sets down a drink. "You came," he says, "I appreciate the courage that takes." Cas sees a picture of G. W. Bush on the wall. "Whose heaven is this?" he asks. "Ken Lay's," says Raph, "I'm borrowing it." "I still question his admittance here," says Cas. "He's devout," says Raph, "trumps everything." "What do you want?" demands Cas. "Tomorrow," says Raph, "I've called for a full assembly of the Holy Host. You'll kneel before me and pledge allegiance to the flag, all right?" "And what flag is that?" asks Cas. "Me, Castiel," says Raph, allegiance to me." "Are you joking?" asks Cas. "Do I look like I'm joking?" asks Raph (He does NOT.) "You never look like you're joking," says Cas. (LMAO!) "You rebelled," says Raph, "against God, heaven and me--now you will atone. We'll start by freeing Lucifer and Michael from their cage, and then we'll get our show back on the road." "Raphael, NO!" cries Cas passionately--"the apocalypse doesn't have to be fought!" "Of course it does," insists the other angel, "it's God's will." "How can you say that?" demands Cas. "Because it's what I want," says Raphael somewhat petulantly. (Does he think he's God?) "The other angels won't let you!" says Cas vehemently. "Are you sure?" asks Raph--"you know better than anyone, Castiel, they're soldiers, they weren't built for freedom, they were built to follow." Cas rises. "Then I won't let you," he says. "REALLY?" says Raph, shooting bright white light at Cas. He awakens to find himself lying on his back in his version of heaven, nose bloody, staring up at a red, yellow and blue kite. He begins spitting up blood and rolls over on his stomach to deposit it into the earth. "I'm not ashamed to say that my big brother knocked me into next week," says Cas looking up at Raphael, who says, "Tomorrow you kneel, Castiel, or you and anyone with you dies."

(Ednote: Wow, brutal family! Cas is going to be punished for what he did, and now Raph wants to follow in the footsteps of those fools who WANTED the apocalypse to happen? Damn fools! The thought of what Sam went through, all being undone, makes me want to scream, kill and use angel knives on Raphael and all his followers!)

"Place is clean," reports Sam to Dean. "Kike Mr. Clean cleaned," says Bobby, "kinda OCD for your average demon." Sam agrees. So what now?" he asks. "We call Cas," says Dean defensively, "this is usually the point where we'd call Cas for help, right?" "We talked about this," Bobby reminds him. "Yeah, Dean," says Sam. "No, you talked, I listened," says Dean, "this is CAS, guys. There was no one, we were stuck, really stuck, he broke ranks, he has gone to the mat cut and bleeding for us so many freakin' times. This is CAS! Don't we owe him the benefit of the doubt at least?" With Dean giving him his own brand of puppy-dog eyes, Sam can't resist, and reluctantly says, "Castiel, this is really important, we really need to talk to you." "Castiel, come on in," says Dean. As the three look at each other, puzzled and concerned, Cas is standing, invisible, right beside Dean. "But I didn't go to them," he says, "because I knew they would have questions I couldn't answer. I guess I was afraid." "Cas is busy," says Dean. "That's all right, we are too," says Sam, slapping his brother encouragingly on the back, "come on." "Back to square one," says Bobby. "What do we do now?" asks Dean, annoyed. "We caught one hunter demon before," says Bobby, we can do it again." "DEAN!" shouts Sam. In less than two seconds, three men have attacked Bobby, Dean and Sam, throwing them down with tremendous violence. Before starting to savagely beat Dean's face, the demon crows, "Crowley says hi!"

(Ednote: I was totally stunned when those demons suddenly attacked! They just appeared out of nowhere and began whaling on the guys! I'm also astonished over Raph's arrogance, but I gather Cas is a pretty weak angel in the ranks. Working with Dean has emboldened him. Cool! Except, has it emboldened him to take things to a reckless place, like it often does Dean?) read less

The demon beating Dean's face gets in three very hard punches, bloodying Dean's teeth. "Crowley sent his very best," explains Cas, "I was caught as much by surprise as the rest of them." Bobby is sent flying through French doors. "And I was left with yet another choice," says Cas. Sam is tossed on top of a table in a way that would have broken any other man's back.

"I could reveal myself and smite the demons--of course, Crowley wouldn't like it, but on the other hand, they WERE my... read more The demon beating Dean's face gets in three very hard punches, bloodying Dean's teeth. "Crowley sent his very best," explains Cas, "I was caught as much by surprise as the rest of them." Bobby is sent flying through French doors. "And I was left with yet another choice," says Cas. Sam is tossed on top of a table in a way that would have broken any other man's back.

"I could reveal myself and smite the demons--of course, Crowley wouldn't like it, but on the other hand, they WERE my friends." Cas dispatches the demons, first Dean's, then Bobby's, lastly Sam's. "For a brief moment, I was me again."

"Good to see you, Cas," says Dean, catching his breath. "You all right?" asks Cas. "Yeah," says Dean. "Perfect timing," remarks Sam. "I'm glad I caught you," says Cas, "I come with news--I firmly believe Crowley is alive." "Ya think, Kojak?" says Dean with irony, then turns to Bobby and asks, "What do you think of Cas saving our asses--again?" "I think we owe you an apology," says Bobby. "Why?" asks Cas. "We've been hunting Crowley this whole time," confesses Sam, "and keeping it from you." "We thought you were working with him," says Bobby. "You thought WHAT?" asks Cas. "I know, crazy, right?" asks Dean. "It's just that you torched the wrong bones," says Bobby, "it doesn't matter, we were wrong." "You know," says Cas, "you could've just asked me." "We should have," agrees Dean, "we never should have doubted you. I just hope you can forgive us."

"Wonders never cease," narrates Cas, "they trusted me again. But it was just another lie."

"It's forgotten," Cas assures them. "Yeah, thanks Cas," says Sam. Bobby nods. "It is a little absurd, though, says Cas. "I know, I know," says Bobby. "Supermen going to the dark side," teases Cas, "I'm still just Castiel." "I guess we can put away the Kryptonite, right," grins Dean. "Exactly," smiles Cas back.

(Ednote: Ah ha, this is where Cas slipped up! He mentioned Superman and recognized Kryptonite, words mentioned when he was listening to them while invisible! Whoops, Cas!)

"Of course I didn't realize it at the time," narrates Cas, "but it was all over, right then, just like that."

Castiel bursts into Crowley's lair, doors banging noisily open on either side of him. "You sent demons after them?" he shouts. "You kill mine, why can't I kill yours?" asks Crowley. "They're MY friends," says Cas. "You can't have friends," says Crowley, "not anymore--my God, you're losing it!" "I'm fine," insists Cas. "The very picture of mental health," sneers Crowley, "come on, you don't think I know what this is all about?" "Enlighten me," says Cas. "The big lie," says the demon, "the Winchesters still buy it, the good Cas, the righteous Cas, as long as they believe it, YOU get to believe it. Well I got news for you, kitten, a whore is a whore is a whore," Furious, Cas pushes Crowley against a stone wall, getting smack dab in the demon's face as he warns, "I'm only going to say this once. If you touch a hair on their heads, I will tear it all down--our arrangement, everything. I'm still an angel, and I will bury you." He flies off, the beating wings sounding angry. Crowley turns around to look at the punched-in stone wall behind him.

"I asked myself what I was doing with this vermin," says Cas, "as if I didn't already know the answer." "This is NOT how synergy works!" yells Crowley, brushing dust off his jacket.

Lying on the grass from the previous scene where his brother attacked him, Raphael gazing down at him like a crushed bug, Cas says, "Raphael was stronger than me. I wouldn't survive a straight fight. So I went to an old friend for help." (We see Dean, raking leaves in his yard during his year with Lisa). "But watching him, I stopped--everything he sacrificed, and I was about to ask him for more." Suddenly, Crowley is standing beside him. "Ah, Castiel, angel of Thursday," he says mockingly, "it's not your day, is it?" "What are you doing here?" Cas asks, annoyed. "I want to help you help me help ourselves," says Crowley. "Speak plain," says Cas. "I want to discuss a simple business transaction," says Crowley." "You want to make a deal--with ME?" says Cas--"I'm an angel, you ass, without a soul to sell." (LMAO!--do angels normally curse, or did Dean teach Cas to do that?) "That's it, isn't it?" says Crowley, "it all comes down to the souls in the end, doesn't it?" "What in hell are you talking about?" asks Cas. "I'm taking about Raphael's head on a pike," says the demon, "I'm talking about happy endings for all of us, with all possible entendres intended--come on, just a chat." "I have no interest in talking with you," says Cas. Behind them, Dean bags what he's raked. "Why not?" asks Cas--"I'm very interesting-- come on, hear me out--five minutes, no obligations, I promise. I'll make it worth your while."

"I was no fool," narrates Cas, "I knew who Crowley was, what he did, but I was smarter than him, stronger. I see now that I was prideful, and in all likelihood, a fool."

Crowley takes Cas down to Hades, which looks like a dark, ugly bakery where the Blue Danube Waltz plays on a permanent loop. You take a ticket, wait on an endless line, reach the front, go to the end and wait on line all over again. (That would certainly be hell for me, and many others, I'm sure!) In the old place, explains Crowley, the people were already masochists. "No one likes waiting in line," says Crowley, "that's efficiency." "You have four minutes left," says Cas. "What are you planning to do about Raphael?" asks Crowley. "What can I do, besides submit or die?" asks Cas. "Submit or die?" says Crowley, "what are you, French? How about resist?" "I'm not strong enough, and you know it," says Cas belligerently. "Not on your own you're not," says Crowley, "but you're not on your own, are you? There's a lot of angels swooning over here, God's favorite, buddy boy, you've got what they call sex appeal." "Thank you," says Cas sarcastically, "get to the point." "Angels need leaders," says Crowley, "so be one-- gather your army and kick the candy out of each and every angel that shows up for Raphael." "Are you proposing that I start a civil war in heaven?" demands Cas, horrified. "Ding ding ding," says Crowley, "tell him what he's won, Vanna." "You're asking me to be the next Lucifer!" cries Cas. "Please, demurs Crowley, "Lucifer was a petulant child with Daddy issues, you, Cas, you love God. God loves you. He brought you back, didn't it occur to you, so you could be the new sheriff upstairs?" "This is ridiculous," says Cas, "the amount of power it would take to mount a war. . ." "More than either of us have ever seen, yeah," agrees Crowley, "but what if I said I knew how to go nuclear?" "What do you mean?" asks Cas. "Purgatory, my fine feathered friend," says Crowley, "Purgatory--just think about it, an untapped oil well of every fanged, clawed soul--what is that?--30 million, forty?--plump and rich for the taking." "And how would you find it when no one ever has?" asks Cas. "We'll need expert help," says Crowley. "From whom?" asks Cas. "From experts," says the demon, "I know two eerily seated Teen Beat models twirling their hats." "Not Dean," insists Cas, "he's retired and he's to stay that way." "Fine," says Crowley, "then I know of a certain big, bald patriarch we can take off the bench--the point is, they can get us to the monsters, the monsters can get us to Purgatory, I know it." "And what's your price in all this?" asks Cas. "Just half," answers Crowley. "Half?" repeats Cas. "My position isn't all that stable, Ducky," says Crowley, "those souls would help, just like they'd help you--besides, wouldn't you rather have me in charge down there--the devil you know." Cas turns away. "This is pointless," he says, "your plan would take months, and I need help now." "Granted," says Crowley, "but just to show you how serious I am about this game, how about I float you a little loan, say, 50 large? Fifty thousand souls from the pit--you can take 'em up to heaven--make quite a showing. It's either this or the apocalypse all over again--everything you worked for, everything that SAM and DEAN have worked for--gone. You can save this, Castiel." The angel turns to look at the demon, who adds, "GOD chose you to save us, and I think, deep down, you know that."

(Ednote: Crowley knows how desperate Cas is, and he's working him like a drug addicted woman he's trying to turn to tricks to support her habit. He brings in God, Sam and Dean, three things Cas loves the most, telling him he can stop the apocalypse from happening all over again. How can the angel refuse such a deal, especially presented by someone as smooth-talking as Crowley?)

"I wish I could say I was clean of pride at that moment," narrates Cas, or the next."

At the big meeting the next day, Cas sends a fireball at Raphael and the other high angel muckimucks and announces, "There will be no apocalypse! And let it be known, you're either with Raphael or you're with me!" Cas storms out.

"And so went the long road of good intentions, the road that brought me here."

Ellesworth Cabin - "Castiel," says Dean, clearly upset, "we need you for a little powwow down here." Cas immediately joins them. Bobby, who has been drinking, praise his speed, "Johnny on the spot." "You're still here," notes Cas. "Yeah," says Dean, we found a little whiskey. Thanks for comin'." "How can I help?" Cas asks. Sam opens a notebook and explains they have a new plan: "We finally figured out a way to track down Crowley." "What is it?" asks Cas, stepping forward eagerly. "It's you," says Dean, throwing out a match. A second later, Cas is surrounded in a ring of holy fire, their prisoner. He looks at their faces and knows his secret is out.

(Ednote: I'm reminded of Sam after Bobby and Dean have locked him in the panic room following the revelation he's been drinking demon blood. Just as heartbreaking!) read less

"What are you doing?" asks Cas. "We've gotta talk," says Dean. "About what?" asks Cas. "About what, let me go," demands Cas. "About Superman, and Kryptonite," says Dean. "How'd you know what I said?" asks Bobby. "How long you been watchin' us?" asks Sam. "You know who spies on people, Cas?--spies!" accuses Dean. "Just wait!" says Cas--"I don't even know what you mean." "What about this demon craphole," says Sam, pointing to the ceiling, "how is it so next-to-godliness clean in here?" "How exactl... read more "What are you doing?" asks Cas. "We've gotta talk," says Dean. "About what?" asks Cas. "About what, let me go," demands Cas. "About Superman, and Kryptonite," says Dean. "How'd you know what I said?" asks Bobby. "How long you been watchin' us?" asks Sam. "You know who spies on people, Cas?--spies!" accuses Dean. "Just wait!" says Cas--"I don't even know what you mean." "What about this demon craphole," says Sam, pointing to the ceiling, "how is it so next-to-godliness clean in here?" "How exactly did Crowley trick you with the wrong bones?" asks Bobby. "It's hard to understand," babbles Cas, "it's hard to explain, just let me go, let me out, and I can. . . " "You gotta look at me, man," says Dean, teary-eyed, "you gotta level with me and tell me what's goin' on. Look me in the eye and tell me you're not workin' with Crowley." Cas looks away. "Son of a bitch," says Dean. Sam's face is filled with pain for Dean. "Let me explain," begs Cas. "You're in it with him?" asks Dean--"In it with Crowley? You're goin' after Purgatory TOGETHER?" When Cas doesn't answer, Dean says, "You have, huh? THIS WHOLE TIME!" "I did it to protect you--I did it to protect ALL of you!" insists Cas. "Protect us HOW?" asks Sam--"by opening a hole into Monsterland?" "He's right, Cas," says Bobby, "one drop got through, and it was Eve, and you want to break down the entire dam?" "To get the souls," explains Cas, "I can stop Raphael! Please, you have to trust me!" "Trust you?" chuckles Sam mirthlessly-- how in the hell are we supposed to trust you now?" I'm still me," says Cas, "still your friend--Sam, I'M the one who raised you from perdition!" (Ednote: OMG, I had my suspicions, but to have it confirmed now, under these circumstances, WHEW!) "What?" says Sam in disbelief, looking like he's about to cry--"well, no offense, but you did a pretty piss-poor job of it. WAIT!" At the tone in his brother's voice, Dean looks at him, then at the angel. Sam continues, "Did you bring me back soulless. . .on purpose?" "How could you think that?" asks Cas. "Well, I'm thinkin' a lot of things right now, Cas," says Sam, disbelieving, hurt. "Listen," says the angel, "Raphael will kill us all; he'll turn the world into a graveyard. I had no choice." "No," says Dean, "you had a choice. You just made the wrong one." "You don't understand," insists Cas, "it's complicated." "No it's not," says Dean, "and you know that--why else would you keep this whole thing a secret, huh, unless you knew that it was wrong? When crap like this comes around, we deal with it, like we always have. What we DON'T do is go out and make another deal with the devil!" "It sounds so simple when you say it like that," says Cas, ashamed, "where were you when I needed to hear it?" "I was there--where were you?" asks Dean huskily. Cas recalls: Dean was raking and bagging leaves, and he didn't want to disturb his happy life. That was Cas' choice--Dean or Crowley. "You should have come to us for help, Cas," says Dean, torn up. "Maybe," says Cas. They hear a tremendous roaring outside. "It's too late now," says Cas, staring up at the ceiling. Outside, the half-moon is obliterated by the inky black forms of demons, "I can't turn back now. I can't." "It's not too late!" shouts Dean--"dammit, Cas, we can fix this!" "Dean, it's NOT BROKEN!" retorts Cas. The demons have begun to surround the house. "RUN!" orders Cas--" YOU HAVE TO RUN, NOW! RUN!!!" Sam, Bobby and Dean do as he tells them, but not before Dean and Cas exchange a look like two angry little boys in a really huge fight. Cas stands alone in the ring of fire.

Crowley enters, notes Cas' predicament, and says, "My, my, playing with fire again." He puts the flames out. "If you touched the Winchesters," snaps Cas, striding forward. "Please, heard you the first time," says Crowley, "I promise, nary a hair on their artfully-tousled heads.Besides, I think they proved my point for me--it's always your friends, isn't it, in the end? We try to change, we try to improve ourselves; it's always our friends who CLAW into our sides and then hold us back! You know what I see here? The new God, the new devil working together." "Enough," says Cas tiredly. He gets right into Crowley's face and orders, "You stop talking and get out of my sight." "You're welcome, by the way," says Crowley, and before he leaves, he says, "You know the difference between you and me? I know what I am. What are you, Castiel? What exactly are you willing to do?"

Dean, asleep on Bobby's couch, wakes up to find Cas standing beside him. "Hello, Dean," he says. "How did you get in here?" asks Dean angrily. Bobby apparently screwed up the angel-proofing he put up on the house. "too bad we have to angel-proof in the first place, isn't it," says Dean, and asks again, "Why are you here?" "I want you to understand," says Cas. "Believe me," says Dean, "I get it--blah blah Raphael." "I'm doing this for YOU, Dean, I'm doing this BECAUSE of you." "Because of me, yeah," says Dean, "you've gotta be kidding me." "You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will," begins Cas. "You're a friggin' child, you know that?" says Dean, "just because you can do what you want, doesn't mean you get to do WHATEVER you want!" "I know what I'm doing," insists Cas. "I'm gonna logic you, OK," says Dean, "I'm saying DON'T just 'cause--I'm asking you NOT to--that's it!" "I don't understand," says Cas. "Next to Sam," says Dean, "you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family, that you are like a brother to me--so if I am asking you NOT to do something, you gotta trust me, man." "Or what?" asks Cas. "Well," says Dean, "I'll do what I have to do to stop you." "You can't, Dean," says Cas, "you're just a man--I'm an angel." "I dunno," says Dean, "you're takin' on some pretty big fish." "Sorry, Dean," says Cas. "I'm sorry, too, then," says Dean. Cas flies away.

Back in Cas' snowy heaven, he says, "So, that's everything. I believe it's what you would call a tragedy from the human perspective. But maybe the human perspective is limited, I don't know. That's why I'm asking you, Father, one last time--am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path? You have to tell me, you have to give me a sign. Give me a sign. Because if you don't, then it's. . .I'm going to do whatever I must." He drops his head.

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