Suburgatory

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Season 1 2011-09-28
1Pilot Tessa (Jane Levy) and George (Jeremy Sisto) have been on their own ever since Tessa's mom pulled a "Kramer vs. Kramer." So far George has done a pretty good job of raising Tessa without a maternal figure in their lives, but suddenly he's feeling a little out of his league, especially after he finds a pack of condoms in her room. So it's goodbye New York City and hello suburbs. At first Tessa is horrified by the big-haired, fake-boobed mothers and... read more
11 Characters 6 Music
2The Barbecue Tessa is horrified when she finds herself unexpectedly attracted to her exact opposite, her jock suburban neighbor (Parker Young as Ryan Shay, son of Sheila Shay), and George is pressured by the town to throw the perfect barbecue.
15 Characters 5 Music
3The Chatterer George joins the PTA and quickly becomes well-liked by the other moms, but in the process former PTA queen bee Sheila Shay starts to feel threatened. Meanwhile Tessa joins the school newspaper.
14 Characters 2 Music
4Don't Call Me Shirley Tessa is excited to see some action in the suburbs when Sheila Shay's Shirley Temple doll collection is stolen, but not so thrilled at the consequences -- Dallas and Dalia are afraid of being burglarized so they crash at the Altmans'.
11 Characters
5Halloween Tessa channels her inner "suburban girl" for a Halloween costume, but it ends up spooking her friends and everyone at school since she reminds them of a recently "departed" resident of Chatswin. And George is determined to prove to Halloween-hater Dallas that being scared can be fun, but gets a scare of his own when Steven Royce (guest star Jay Mohr), Dallas' husband, finally comes home from one of his many business trips.
10 Characters 3 Music
6Charity Case Irritated by all the cafeteria waste at school, Tessa motivates the student body to get involved with giving back. Unfortunately their charity of choice involves helping residents of Florida improve their complexions. When Tessa introduces a homeless transsexual to the student body as part of a lesson, they decide that Tessa is really the person in need. Meanwhile George receives a large dental bill from Noah, which puts a strain on their relatio... read more
16 Characters 2 Music
7Sweet Sixteen When Tessa tells Dallas that she wants a simple get together for her sixteenth birthday, Dallas convinces her to let Dalia plan the ultimate birthday extravaganza at the country club, complete with a live performance by her favorite band, specialty drinks and go-go cages. Meanwhile George throws his back out and Sheila Shay (Ana Gasteyer) takes it upon herself to care for him, even though George is terrified of her.
18 Characters 2 Music 1 Info
8Thanksgiving Depressed that she has to spend Thanksgiving in the suburbs, Tessa convinces Dallas to take her to the city for a girls' day out. During their fun day, they run across George making out with a woman while he was supposed to be "working." Angry with George for lying to her, Tessa confronts him during the Royces' Thanksgiving dinner. Meanwhile Lisa refuses to wear a special dress Sheila picked out for her, so Sheila decides to literally turn up the... read more
21 Characters 4 Music 1 Info
9The Nutcracker When Tessa overhears George break up with his girlfriend, Zoe, on Skype, she blames herself for his failed relationship and decides that she's going to get them back together. Unbeknownst to her, though, George is really enamored with Tessa's cute art teacher, Aimee. He admits to Mr. Wolfe that he's over dating crazy city women, and that he's looking for love in the burbs. George decides to embrace the holiday spirit with a tree trimming party co... read more
15 Characters 2 Music
10Driving Miss Dalia When Tessa gets her driver's license, Dalia hires her to drive her around to stalk her crush, Scott Strauss (guest star Thomas McDonell). As a result Tessa realizes that she and Scott might have feelings for each other. Meanwhile George and Noah's relationship is put to the test when George decides he wants to join the local country club.
16 Characters 2 Music
11Out in the Burbs When Tessa is asked to show new guy Josh Sherman (Dan Byrd) around school, she becomes convinced that he’s gay, when in fact he’s an undercover narcotics officer. Lisa becomes deeply infatuated with Josh, and Tessa inadvertly convinces Mr. Wolfe to make special announcement to the student body. Meanwhile George re-evaluates his relationship with Dallas.
13 Characters 1 Music
13Sex and the Suburbs Tessa enjoys rubbing it in Dalia's face that Scott Strause chose her over Dalia. However the closer Tessa gets to Scott, the more nervous George becomes. When George discovers a box of XXL condoms that Lisa has given Tessa, he becomes obsessed and starts planning game night with her friends in hopes of keeping her at home more. Meanwhile Tessa soon discovers that the more time she spends with Scott, the less attracted to him she is.
18 Characters 6 Music
14The Body When Tessa realizes that she's failing gym class, she decides to run for student body president in hopes of changing Chatswin High's obsession with sports. During the election, Lisa steps in as Tessa's campaign manager against Kenzie and Kaitlyn. Meanwhile, Ryan is injured during a wrestling match and finds himself mourned by his family, and George takes Ryan under his wing and introduces him to people who have moved forward from setbacks.
18 Characters 3 Music
15Fire with Fire When Jill turns to the newly single Dallas for inspiration and support, her marriage to Noah goes on the rocks. Meanwhile Dallas begins spending a lot of time with her hot younger boyfriend, Yoni (Wilmer Valderrama), which causes tension with George, and Dalia befriends Lisa to get back at Tessa for dating Scott Strauss -- so Tessa decides to take action and recruits Kimantha to make Dalia jealous.
21 Characters 4 Music
16Poetic Injustice When Fred and Sheila strike up a croquet match with Dallas and George, Fred misreads Sheila's interest in George. Fred tells George that Sheila is fantasizing about him and asks him to seduce her. Meanwhile Tessa desperately wants to impress the new poetry teacher, Ms. Evans, but she seems to prefer Dalia's prose.
12 Characters 3 Music
17Independence Day When George picks Tessa up late from school she decides to get a job working for Dallas in order to buy her own wheels. Meanwhile Dallas invites her sorority sisters to stay with her in order to celebrate the opening of her store, A Crystal Cup of Crystals; however her rival sorority sister, Tulsa (Robin Givens), decides to crash the party.
19 Characters 4 Music
18Down Time When Dallas's divorce is finalized, George becomes concerned and includes her in a shopping trip with Noah to buy a new mattress. Meanwhile Dalia makes a breakthrough in therapy with her psychiatrist, Dr. Richard Rohl (James Lipton), Lisa and Malik try to set up Tessa, and Ryan takes Tessa on a date.
15 Characters 2 Music
19Entering Eden When George meets Eden (Alicia Silverstone) at the Chatswin Farmer's Market, there is an immediate attraction and he finds himself smitten with her and her healthy eating habits. Meanwhile, Yakult goes missing and it's up to Tessa and Dalia to find her, and Noah and Jill make a surprising announcement.
15 Characters 3 Music
20Hear No Evil As George and Eden's (Alicia Silverstone) relationship gets serious, he decides to introduce her to Tessa, who is preoccupied with her job at Crystal Cup of Crystals. Meanwhile, George and Noah make a deal regarding George's relationship boundaries with Eden, and Eden is overwhelmed by Sheila's meddling and the Werners' overprotective behavior.
15 Characters 2 Music
21The Great Compromise As Tessa adjusts to having Eden (Alicia Silverstone) living with them, she finds Eden helpful in her pursuit of a summer internship, while George has difficulty with Eden's parenting. Meanwhile Sheila interferes with Noah's relationship with Eden, and Malik and Lisa debate which camp to attend.
12 Characters 2 Music
22The Motherload Residents of Chatswin go all out in celebration of their moms, leaving a noticeable void for Tessa, while Dalia chooses to go to Israel without Dallas. Meanwhile George and Eden attend the Lerners' baby shower, and Eden reacts to the endangered animal theme; Fred surprises Sheila with a special performance by her favorite solo artist, and Lisa makes a startling discovery.
34 Characters 4 Music 1 Locations
Season 2 2012-10-17
1Homecoming When Tessa returns to Chatswin after spending the summer in NYC with her grandmother, her burgeoning interest in her mom leaves George feeling threatened. In an effort to feel more connected to her mom's musical side, Tessa takes up the guitar and signs up to sing in the Fall Follies. Meanwhile, Noah decides he wants Carmen to come back and work for him, and he gets into an all out competition with Dallas over her.
23 Characters 3 Music
2The Witch of East Chatswin When Tessa convinces Dalia and the KKK (Kimantha, Kaitlyn and Kenzie) to come up with feminist inspired Halloween costumes, she finds herself the interest of the infamous East Chatswin witch (aka Paula), played by guest star Rachel Dratch. As it turns out Paula isn't exactly what she seems. Meanwhile George and Noah dress up as each other, and Dallas invites George to be "Ken" to her "Barbie" -- but he declines, not realizing that she is asking h... read more
22 Characters 2 Music
3Ryan's Song When Lisa feels guilty for not telling Ryan that he's adopted, she agrees to help him pursue Tessa. Lisa's generosity leaves Ryan believing that he must be dying of "Ryan disease." Meanwhile George and Dallas go on their first date, but in her nervousness she invites her life coach, Tabitha (Jon H. Benjamin), to join them -- which puts George off -- and Tessa agrees to babysit for Opus while Noah and Carmen attend an opera.
15 Characters 3 Music
4Foam Finger When Dalia decides that her dad's fiance is her new best friend, the KKK (Kimantha, Kenzie and Kaitlyn) are lost without their leader and turn to Tessa and Lisa. As Dalia struggles with her emotions over her dad's elopement, she turns to Evan for support, and it's up to Tessa to help her regain her confidence and friends. Meanwhile, George and Dallas get intimate, but it's not really what George envisions.
22 Characters 1 Music
5The Wishbone When Tessa decides she wants to spend Thanksgiving in the city with her grandmother and birth mom (who is planning to fly in from Berlin), Dallas decides to fire Chef Alan and have George host Thanksgiving to keep him occupied. But when George finds his cooking skills inadequate, he winds up schilling out cash to Chef Alan to help make the meal edible. Meanwhile, after missing Alex (Malin Akerman) in NYC, Tessa returns home to find a surprising T... read more
17 Characters 2 Music
6Friendship Fish When Dallas gives George a Chatswin makeover, he decides he likes his new look and begins to feel at home in the suburbs. But as soon as some of George's friends from New York visit, they start poking fun at his girlfriend and new life. In an effort to get back at them, George and Dallas make a pitch for the Scarsdale Performing Arts Center job that his friends are after. Meanwhile, Malik leaves Lisa for two days, so she decides to spend every mi... read more
16 Characters 1 Music
7Krampus When George sends Tessa to NY for a Christmas excursion with her mom, he assumes that he's given her the best present ever. Tessa soon learns to be careful what you wish for, and she finds herself missing George and Chatswin. Meanwhile Ryan finds out that he was adopted -- throwing the Shay family in turmoil -- and Carly asks for Carmen for Christmas.
23 Characters 2 Music
8Black Thai When Tessa and Dalia get their PSAT results, Dalia receives a new car and Tessa gets ice cream as a reward. Tessa is miffed that Dalia got a car, and becomes obsessed with finding out Dalia's score. The rift between the girls leads to an argument between George and Dallas, and the only thing that can help them is an old fashioned hip hop dance off. Meanwhile Noah and Jill hire Mr. Wolfe to tutor their baby after he's rejected by the finest day ca... read more
15 Characters
9Junior Secretary's Day When Tessa has her wisdom teeth removed, George struggles to manage both her recovery and the hysterics of their neighbor, Fred Shay, who has taken up residence in their basement after a career set-back. Sheila suspects George of harboring rats, and Dallas feels insecure about her relationship with George.
15 Characters
10Chinese Chicken When Dallas goes overboard making flyers for George's business, he begins to feel stifled and convinces Noah and Fred to start a dad band as a way to escape their significant others. Sheila catches the band during practice and impresses George with her singing, so he votes her into the band. Meanwhile Tessa discovers what it means to be a football player's girlfriend and incites a revolt.
18 Characters
11Yakult Leader When Dallas realizes a portion of her property is located in East Chatswin, her life is thrown into a tailspin after she's kicked out of the country club and Dalia is forced to attend East Chatswin High. Meanwhile, Tessa becomes a producer of the Chatswin High TV show, "Teen Talk," but struggles with her new role when Ryan becomes the host of the show.
20 Characters
12Body Talk When Yakult becomes depressed, Dallas invites Yoni back into their lives to help remove her negative energy. Everyone becomes enamored with Yoni except George, who believes Yoni really just wants Dallas back. Meanwhile the Shays convince Tessa to help set Lisa up so she can get back in the dating game. The girls end up on a double date with Ryan and Tessa's ex, Scott Strauss.
16 Characters